Before you get all congratulatory over this picture, let me preface it by saying, I went 0-5 to earn these 3 bronze medals. Yes I had 5 matches this weekend and lost every single one on them. Yet somehow I still come away with, what looks like, some impressive hardware.

Match 1: Master Male>Blue Belt>Light Heavyweight
Very little circling. My opponent pulled guard and tried to lock down an arm. I didn’t come close to opening his guard. He swept me to mount, set up a cross choke, and rolled to guard for the finish.
Result: bronze medal #1

Match 2: Master Male>Blue Belt>Absolute
I tried to set up an arm bar from standing. It didn’t come close to working. Opponent passed guard easily and finished with cross choke from mount.

Match 3: Master Male>NoGi Blue Belt>Light Heavyweight
I shot for a single right away. Didn’t get it. He pulled guard. I stayed there unable to move or loser his guard. He went for a kimura and I rolled to defend. He transitioned right to an arm bar.

Match 4: Master Male>NoGi Blue Belt>Light Heavyweight
Because there were only 3 of us, I had a second match. It was just the way the computer spit out the bracket I guess. Anyways, I shot for a single. I didn’t get it. Stuck in guard. Swept, knee on belly, mounted, escaped, swept again. 12-0 or something like that.
Result: bronze medal #2

Match 5: Master Male>NoGi Blue Belt>Absolute
Against my better judgement, I registered for the nogi absolute. Again a low number. Only 4 registered. My match was against the guy who arm barred me in my weight class. Guess what? He arm barred me again. But this time it was in about 45 seconds.
Result: bronze medal #3

To recap, I had 5 matches. I lost all. In fact, I didn’t score 1 single point or an advantage, and I ended up with 3 bronze medals… Lol.

Here I Go Again On My Own

Well, I said I wasn’t going to compete again for a while, but I find myself up u reasonably early, on my way to a tournament. I don’t know why I have given in. I have 0 confidence which will pretty much guarantee 1 and done… Today is the 2014 Ascension gi tournament. Tomorrow is nogi. I had to register a weight division up because of the fat… Sigh.


I updated my competition record on the BJJ page.  I took the time to look at it and reflect on the wins and losses.  So at white belt I went 14-33-1.  LOL.  Here’s the funny part.  All but 4 of those 14 wins were at in-house tournaments.  So they were people I’ve rolled with a million times.  I know their strengths and weaknesses.

I started out at blue belt going 0-2.  I think that’s it for a while.  People say that you learn a lot from the losses and come back stronger.  As we can see, that theory does not apply to me.  I learn jack shit.  lol.  I was going to go and do the Ascension tournament on March 1-2 (last year’s was my one shining moment in an otherwise shitty season), but I decided not to.  No point in wasting the money.  Plus, I don’t feel like it.  Too bad I jumped the gun and switched shifts with a coworker.  Now I have to work shitty shifts for nothing.  sigh… At least I can keep eating deep-fried mayonnaise balls.

September 30, 2013 Training Journal aka Raped by Satan

September 30, 2013

No class tonight. Instead we had the final Grizzly Gym in house tournament of 2013. Dubbed the no, nogi championships, the event sported the usual modified IBJJF rules. Same point structure and match length, but any and all submissions. Reap the legs all you want


There were a couple of guys missing, but the turnout was ok. It was a round robin tournament with 1 point being awarded to the winner. The man with the most points at the end of the event would be the champ. I don’t think that there was any question who would dawn the coveted gold medal. The same guy that always does. I’ll get him one day… Grrr!!!

My first match was against Wes. He hasn’t been showing up too much lately. My plan was simple. Pull guard, sweep, submit, and don’t waste too much energy. So… I pulled guard and controlled posture right away. I went for a triangle but missed. I went for a scissor sweep but he defended well. I switched to half guard and got a deep collar grip. I made a little space got the other collar and pulled back to full guard. Tap! Cross collar choke.


Match 2 was against Sean. My plan was to work for side control and attack the head and arm choke. But really, take what I could get. We had a bit of a standing grip/hand fight for a while. Eventually he jumped for a flying arm bar. I defended and he went for a triangle. I defended and worked on passing. Unfortunately I left my left arm out and he snatched it up. I tried to roll and push his hands off with my right foot. Too late. I missed my opportunist to tap without injury. I felt a pop in my elbow as my hand came down and slapped the mats. Ouch!


Match 3 was against the newbie Josh. This was his first competition. He had lost his first match to Sean by crazy arm bar. He’s a former football played with a brutal double leg. It’s like a spear. I wanted to avoid this so I got a good grip and pulled guard. I worked my half guard game and got the sweep passing to side control. 3 points. I threatened a quick Americana and moved to mount. 4 points. I hung out here for a bit. My intention was to fool him in to thinking about the Americana and finish with a head and arm choke. But of course I stopped paying attention to my position and he rolled in to my guard. I went for a triangle and arm bar but he stuffed them both. I went for the cross collar again and had it tight. His face was red and he was making funny noises. I was squeezing tight and I felt my left adductor go (previous injury). Damn it. I let go to relieve the pressure. Somehow he got 6 points during the remainder of the match. Not sure how really. He never passed nor did we stand back up. Whatever, I won on points.


Final match was against Jay. I always feel intimidated against him because he moves so friggin’ fast and doesn’t get tired. I have size and strength, but he’s always able to shut down my submissions. He pulled guard on me and we went at it. At one point I had a tight Achilles lock and I heard him yell profanities which I took as a verbal tap so I let go and sat up. He said no tap. Damn it. Of course I wouldn’t have let go in a non in house match, but this is a training partner. I’m no Paul Harris. So we continued. At the end of the match it was declared 0-0 (I totally didn’t get that because I passed several times). Sudden death. First person to score wins. Just where I didn’t want to be against Jay. I was exhausted and he popped right up. He tried to pull guard as I shot in. I picked him up by the hips and slammed him down. 2 points. Phew! However… Being the jackass that I am, I broke rule number one and tried to break my fall with a stretched out arm. The arm that previously popped. Needless to say I have little mobility this morning.


So I ended up with 3 wins and 1 loss. Good for the silver medal. Every match was hard fought. It was good to see that everyone is a really tough fight. After the medal presentation, Mike put 4th and final stripe on my belt. It felt good.


Today I feel like crap. My elbow is moving very shittily and my leg/groin is killing me. I often ask myself if the pain is worth it? It’s hard to say. I have fun at the time, but regret it later. It seems after every tourney, no matter the size, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. It’s jut amazing to me that I can roll for 20 minutes straight and feel fine (aside from a little stiffness), but throw me in a real match and my body feels as though I’ve been raped by Satan. Arggghhh!!! Damn you Satan!!!

I was really hoping to avoid injury because the OJA provincials are fast approaching and I need all the training I can get. There’s no way I’ll be able to train tomorrow night. I can only hope that on Monday I’ll be healed enough. I’ll have to be, right?